This New Year
IT'S THAT TIME of year when we begin to compile the familiar improvement list known to all as New Year’s resolutions. No one can resist this tradition where we visualize our ideal selves, and endeavor an earnest attempt at being a better person.
Being fueled with the optimism and beginning of the New Year, we almost forget the utter collapse of resolve that we’ve undoubtedly experienced countless times with our resolutions of years past. Many times, our New Year’s resolutions don’t endure through January, and less is remembered only a few short months later. Ironically, we only set higher goals the following year, resulting in bigger disappointments when we fall short.
Why do our resolutions have such a small margin for success? Experts have divergent opinions, but some suggest that the way we make resolutions determines their outcome. For example, if a resolution is made in response to a negative habit or situation it’s less likely to gain traction as a pattern to effect permanent change. Losing weight or quitting smoking, two of the most common New Year’s resolutions, are responses to negative images and ideas, and aren’t motivating in nature to inspire confidence in change.
Another likely explanation for the failure of a resolution is that we plan them poorly in the first place. If you haven’t thought about making resolutions until the last minute, or reacting on New Year's Eve and making your resolutions based on what's bothering you, you haven’t given yourself much time to plan a successful way to attain your goal.
When approached with the proper planning, New Year’s Resolutions can become part of a process that offers people a chance to create new habits.
People who succeed at losing weight or quitting smoking are usually motivated by a vision much bigger and more positive than just a small-scoped goal. They see themselves living a healthy lifestyle. They begin to act and think like people who are in good physical shape. There’s more of a radical change in their thinking and actions than you see with most resolutions.
Share your New Year’s Resolutions with others. Sometimes people worry that if they tell people about their efforts to change and then fail, it will be embarrassing. Remember, most people respect efforts toward selfimprovement. See if you can recruit them in your efforts. Support and reassurance from friends and loved ones goes a long way.
Avoid situations that trigger you. Early in your change efforts, many things may trigger interest in resuming the habit. Be watchful to avoid these as much as possible during the first few weeks. Acknowledge your weaknesses. Unwanted behaviors don't develop in a vacuum. They serve functions: to reduce stress, to enhance socialization, to make tasks feel easier. You can't just give up a habit, especially if it has endured for a long period of time, without understanding the value of your habit and considering systems for substituting it with something healthy.
Take up new hobbies. Giving up a negative habit can be a perfect time to take up a positive one. Perhaps it's time to learn how to play cards, or how to cook or play the cello. If an unwanted behavior has served as a primary method of pleasure, you will need to develop a new positive one.
Successful New Year’s resolutions require time, effort, focus and commitment. Breaking old habits and making new ones may not occur overnight. Also, it is important to focus on one resolution at a time. Resolutions should contain clear and specific purposes and should be made with the intent of keeping them. And of course, goals must be realistic and within a person’s control. G